Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
