Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
