i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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