I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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