The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
my god I love twenty year old dicks
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
