Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
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You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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