She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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