that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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