Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
