Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
