I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
