ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
