just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize