i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
