38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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