He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
