VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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