Umm I'm too high to move.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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