I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
