Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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