This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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