Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
