How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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