Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize