ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
