Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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