you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
