...so i touched it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
