My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hippo gnu deer
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I did not marry a roomba.
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