My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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