I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
