he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
