Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
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You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Your cock deserves a montage
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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