i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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