I'm jealous of your bromance
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
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Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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