I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
