just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
