WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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