fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
