I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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