Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
