so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were trust falling into bushes
COCAINE IS GR8
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
