six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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