Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
