it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
