we made out on top of his cat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Randomize
