Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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