I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
