I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
