So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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