he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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