i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize