Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
