i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's Friday. Sex?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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