you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
