every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
