She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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