you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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