It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
