And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
