I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
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In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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