I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
then he tried to convert me to islam
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
