Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
