I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's blow job season.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
