I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
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You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
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