Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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