dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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