I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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