If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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